Tag Archives: Life after college

Making The Most Out Of It

Since I was a teenager I’ve condemned everything around me. In high school I hated my teachers, I hated some of my school mates, and I hated the school itself. Although I had a large group of friends and I had lots of fun, I couldn’t wait to graduate and leave that place to start fresh in another country. When I joined college the same thing happened. At first I was excited about the whole experience, but gradually I started to go back to criticizing my condition.

I don’t know why I do that; maybe it is the perfectionist in me that I am trying to get rid of. I’ve always wanted to be somewhere else, with other people, and living a “cooler” life. It doesn’t matter where I go or who I am with, I will be able to find a way to hate it. Maybe “hate” is a strong word, but I was not satisfied. I can’t say that I am 100% content with my life right now, but at least I am trying to adapt.

Currently I am in grad school to get my master’s degree and I am also involved in a startup company. I know that this is not exactly what I want to be doing right now, which is supposed to be studying psychology, but this is the only thing I can do. I don’t have a stable income that I can use to pay for four-years-of-private-college tuition fees. I am in a weird position; being a grad student and working on launching my friend’s company, it is kind of hard to explain to others your financial situation.

Sometimes before I go to sleep, I think about how I am not really living the life I wanted. But, I remember that I am simply stuck in this and things aren’t going to change any time soon, so why not make the most out of where I am right now? Why not get a master’s degree and work in the company until I make enough money to pursue my dreams? I think it’s okay since I am still 21. Our twenties is the time when we’re supposed to try different things and get to know ourselves better.

So, I promised myself not to say anything negative again about my current circumstances and just be grateful that at least I am doing something instead of being idle. Besides that I don’t have to give up on who I am and forget what I like to do. I can still write poetry and work on my first book along with doing all the other stuff. What I want to say is that if life forces us to temporary follow a different path we have to make the most out of it while staying true to ourselves and not forgetting who we are in the process.

I’ll Take Back What I Said

In my post 8 Things I Wish I Knew In High School I said something about doing what you love and how it’s not always the right thing to do. To be exact this is what I wrote:

5. “Do what you love” is not always the right thing to do for a job.
It’s nice to go every morning to a job you love, but that’s not always the case. What you love to do can be your hobby during your spare time. As for a job, let me be frank with you, you need something that will put food on the table. What you love might not be available, or might not help you make living.”

Yeah well, I was wrong.

Lately I’ve been thinking hard about this. I have a college degree that I couldn’t care less about, I am unemployed, and I still don’t know whether I should get a job with my degree or continue post-grad studies. I hate my degree. I hate it because I am not passionate about it. I am good at it, but I know I will never be great, and I don’t want to settle for ‘good’.

I know you’re probably saying “why did you study it then?”. Well, I didn’t know what I want to be. I didn’t know what I am supposed to do in life, so I just applied to random colleges and got accepted in this one. The funniest thing is I’ve had a lot of hobbies and interests during the past years of my life, and none of these interests has to do with the degree I have.

Maybe what I want to do is a job that doesn’t pay well, but you know what? I’d rather be unemployed with a degree that I am proud of than have a high-paying job in a field that I despise. All I wanna say is that you should follow your instincts. Learn to listen to your heart instead of shutting it up every time it tries to tell you something.  

Finally, I wish all your dreams come true and you find your purpose in life.

Peace and love.

Advice needed!!

I know it’s supposed to be Poetry Tuesday today, but I haven’t wrote anything new for this week. There was a lot going in the past week and I’ve been really busy, and unfortunately not in the mood for writing something inspirational. I am currently going through some changes and it’s NOT cool.

Life is really getting confusing and I am starting to feel lost. It’s because I graduated college two months ago and have been on a quest to find a job or at least an internship. With no luck for two months, I finally landed a temporary part-time job. I didn’t want to get tied to something full-time and permanent because I move constantly. The first day was overwhelming; I absolutely despised it! I don’t know whether it was the job itself or my psychological state at this time. I was actually underemployed, and that is a huge part of why I didn’t want to continue in the job. Also the transformation from a college student to an employed person is just hideous!

I did a little research and found out two things. There’s something called ‘post-college depression’ and another thing called ‘first job blues’. I think I had both! That was just too much. In addition, I had to move back to my hometown (which is not in my country) two days after graduation. My life during the last months of college were more than great! After I graduated, everything suddenly disappeared. The whole thing was like a dream, a sweet sweet dream, and I unfortunately woke up with the inability to go back to sleep and continue it. I miss college days, my friends, and my country. I miss being just a student who didn’t have to deal with the real world.

Anyway, I quit that job after two days. I am now unemployed again, but this time I actually feel good about it. I know what I’ve done might be considered as immaturity and chickening out, but I just couldn’t help it. I learned that I am NOT ready for joining the workforce yet. I am planning to go back to my country. I don’t quite know how things will go from this point, whether I will look for a ‘real’ job that I will be satisfied with or join grad school. But I feel optimistic.

The reason why I started this blog is to give people advice and help them get through certain obstacles in life. Right now, I am the one who needs advice. So if you’re reading this and feel familiar with my situation or you have any advice for me, I’d really want to hear about it.

Thanks a lot.
Have a nice day!