I think that I am now fully and truly living in the present. It feels great! This doesn’t necessary mean that my life is great right now, it just that I feel good. My life is currently a real mess. When I wrote my post Living In The Moment, I was actually living in the moment back then. But that’s because it was easy at that time; I was happy, and my life was enjoyable. Then things kept tumbling down, and I feel like I’ve ended up losing everything that I cherished.
I’ve always had this problem. I would not stop thinking about what I could’ve done in the past and keep worrying about the future while leaving the present to pass me by. Recently I’ve started to confront my past, and I decided that I will start doing the things I should’ve done long time ago instead of telling myself how I keep screwing things up. I also stopped thinking about the ’10 years from now’ and ’20 years from now’ plans. They only made me stressed out all the time. I’ve had hard time sleeping for the past few months because of it. Now I can go to bed and lay my head down without having billions of thoughts crushing it.
I am trying to focus on what I want to do instead of what others think I am supposed to be doing. Hopefully this will lead me someday to doing what I really love, and I will be happy. I guess when you have nothing left to lose is when you learn who you really are and what life means to you. From this point, I can do anything. It’s now about making the right decisions. Focusing on today and taking things slowly, that’s my plan.
Wish you all a happy life, and may all your dreams come true.
Peace and love.