I know it’s supposed to be Poetry Tuesday today, but I haven’t wrote anything new for this week. There was a lot going in the past week and I’ve been really busy, and unfortunately not in the mood for writing something inspirational. I am currently going through some changes and it’s NOT cool.
Life is really getting confusing and I am starting to feel lost. It’s because I graduated college two months ago and have been on a quest to find a job or at least an internship. With no luck for two months, I finally landed a temporary part-time job. I didn’t want to get tied to something full-time and permanent because I move constantly. The first day was overwhelming; I absolutely despised it! I don’t know whether it was the job itself or my psychological state at this time. I was actually underemployed, and that is a huge part of why I didn’t want to continue in the job. Also the transformation from a college student to an employed person is just hideous!
I did a little research and found out two things. There’s something called ‘post-college depression’ and another thing called ‘first job blues’. I think I had both! That was just too much. In addition, I had to move back to my hometown (which is not in my country) two days after graduation. My life during the last months of college were more than great! After I graduated, everything suddenly disappeared. The whole thing was like a dream, a sweet sweet dream, and I unfortunately woke up with the inability to go back to sleep and continue it. I miss college days, my friends, and my country. I miss being just a student who didn’t have to deal with the real world.
Anyway, I quit that job. I am now unemployed again, but this time I actually feel good about it. I know what I’ve done might be considered as immaturity and chickening out, but I just couldn’t help it. I learned that I am NOT ready for joining the workforce yet. I am planning to go back to my country. I don’t quite know how things will go from this point, whether I will look for a ‘real’ job that I will be satisfied with or join grad school. But I feel optimistic.
The reason why I started this blog is to give people advice and help them get through certain obstacles in life. Right now, I am the one who needs advice. So if you’re reading this and feel familiar with my situation or you have any advice for me, I’d really want to hear about it.
Thanks a lot.
Have a nice day!