Friendship-wrecked

If there’s one thing we can all agree on that would be the importance of having a close friend in our life. Most of us have at least one close person to talk to freely about anything and everything, while knowing that we won’t be judged. That’s whom we call our bff, bestie, best friend, best mate, bro, my man…etc. Regardless the name we give them, they all represent the same person to us: a true friend. This reminds me of a quote by Bernard Meltzer “A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.” But what would happen if this emotional sanctuary is wrecked?

Researches show that the presence of a friend/friends in our life is very important for our mental health. No wonder that is true! I mean tell me how are you suppose to keep your sanity after a long tiring day at work without going out with your friends, or who’s gonna comfort you with a big bowl of ice cream after you’ve been let down by someone or something? We sure wouldn’t be able to make it through all these psychological ordeals without our friends. That’s why it is very important to have and to keep friends. Researchers also say friends may have a healthy influence on harmful behaviors such as smoking and drinking, and affects our mood and self-esteem. This in return helps to live healthy and promotes a longer life. But enough with the statistics and researches, you don’t need to know about all that because you’ve probably experienced it somehow. I know the reason you are reading this is possibly because you recently had a fight with a friend, a very dear one. So what is the right thing to do now?

You might be very angry because your friend did something you despise, or upset because your friend has got you in a terrible situation, or you fought again about your different political views…etc. and you might be feeling guilty by now and want to make up, but then your pride won’t allow you to or maybe your friend is the one who doesn’t want to. So let’s see how something like this can be tackled.

If you want to make things up between you and your friend you need to take a trip down memory lane first. Remembering all the sweet memories and the good times you’ve had with your friend will show you the importance of their presence in your life. You will also see how amazing this person is and how they affected you. It’s not only the good times you need to remember, but the bad ones too. Do you remember when you were having a bad day and your friend was the only person in the world who understood what you were going through and was able to draw a smile on your face? And do you remember who stood by you when you got into trouble? Yes, your friend; the one whom you fought with over something that might be insignificant. Friendship is one of the supreme gifts life can give you, and it would be such a shame to take it for granted. And no matter what the reason behind the fight is, I don’t think it’s worth it!

Now that you understand how stupid it was to declare war between you and your friend, it’s time to wave the white flag. I know that you’re probably saying “why don’t they come and make things up?” Well, let’s remember the famous quote by Gandhi “Be the change you want to see in the world.” Yes, be the one who’s willing to make the first step in the path of reconciliation even if you are not the one who started it all. I have few ideas to help you make things up with your friend. Some of it might sound too crazy for you, but why not try it?
1. You know your bestie’s favorite song, right? Then get up and walk to them and start singing their favorite song in front of everyone. Better yet, ask them to join you! Too crazy? Try the next one.
2. Write them a song or a poem to show them how precious the friendship is to you. If they wouldn’t read it then again, get up and recite it in front of everyone else.
3. Find out if there are going to be any concerts or shows in your town which your friend might be interested to see. Or maybe an art exhibit or even a new action flick in the theatres. Just buy two tickets of whatever they’d like to see and give one to them with a sincere apology.
4. Are you a good cook? Have you created any recipes before? Why not bake your friend their favorite cake or pie? Or better yet, cook them one of your creative dessert recipes. You can write your apology on the dessert and give it to them in a nicely decorated box.
5. Are you into handcrafted jewelry? A handmade bracelet saying ‘best friends forever’ or that has both your names on it can be a great way to remind them how great is your friendship. Also you can make them a necklace and use a picture of you together as the pendant.
6. If your friend is the one who started the fight and you are the victim here, you can do the following: ask them to meet you in their favorite café, diner, restaurant…etc. and talk to them frankly about the problem. Be straight forward and honest, as the always say “honesty is the best policy.” Tell them you are willing to listen and admit if you were wrong. But also tell them how they have wronged you in a certain way. Don’t be hostile though, try to be as calm and friendly and open-minded as possible. Try to show them how concerned you are about your friendship and that you are willing to make up and ‘forget and forgive’.
These are just some ideas, and I bet you can come up with better ones. Whichever way you are going to use, be sincere when you’re doing it.

Remember the quote “True friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.” So next time you feel like starting a fight with your friend, be careful of what you are about to say and remember that your friendship would be at stakes.

Tell me your opinions in the comments. You can also send me an email if you still have questions regarding this. Finally, I hope you the best of luck and a friendship that will last a lifetime.

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